AboveTopSecret.com Video and Media Portal.Books, posters, and more.T-shirts, mouse pads, cups, and bags.Member podcasts.Conspiracy theory wiki.Alternative news headlinesBelowTopSecret.com - off topic and general chit chat.AboveTopSecret.com - conspiracy theories and


 

 

This topic is in the Jokes, Puns, & Pranks discussion forum.  (rss)


Only in Britain...




Topic started on 4-4-2006 @ 05:41 AM by DodgeG1


This is so true...

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.

and finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.



   copyright & usage 
Click here for more Jokes, Puns, & Pranks topics
Hot Topics   |   Top Topics   |   This Week   |   Subscribe   |   Home


reply posted on 4-4-2006 @ 07:23 AM by Zaphod58


Not Britain but here's a good one.......

Only in the Philippines do they have a podium in front of the banks saying "Please check your guns here."



   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 4-4-2006 @ 07:41 AM by infinite


ah, my bad

(delete please)

[edit on 4-4-2006 by infinite]



   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 4-4-2006 @ 04:33 PM by noonoos


Yes Dodge, how I laughed.
Our Lawnmower was stolen not once but twice from the garage! The car was always safe!

I have often been curious at my husbands need to 'test' batteries with his tongue, I guess it really is simple stupidity afterall, always thought it now I have the figures to back it up.

Why do I find myself using a knife instead of a screwdriver? My hubby was the last to see any screwdriver alive. Everytime I stash one he finds it and into the abyss it goes!! (I can find the tool BOX it's just the tools I have difficulty in locating)......

Now I'm going to get myself a REALLY good stash place, let me think...ahh yes next to the washing machine.......He'll never find anything there........lols



   copyright & usage 
AboveTopSecret.com is advertising supported.


reply posted on 4-4-2006 @ 04:36 PM by The Cojo


Lol...haha those were great.



   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 9-4-2006 @ 09:48 PM by 13


haha... some of those are pretty hilarious.

A few are rather universal too.



   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 9-4-2006 @ 10:43 PM by snowflake_obsidian


I have actually seen this before, only instead of "Only In Britian" it saod "Only in America"



   copyright & usage 





















































ATS Server: www3.theabovenetwork.com
Powered by AboveTop:Board v2.3
Header data processed in 0.010 seconds
Page processed in 0.016 seconds
6 total database queries (1)

(:)








The Below Top Secret General Discussion Web site is a wholly owned social content community of The Above Network, LLC.

This content community relies on user-generated content from our member contributors.
The opinions of our members are not those of site ownershipwho maintains
strict editorial agnosticism and simply provides a collaborative venue for free expression.






It looks like you're using some kind of software designed to block advertising while surfing our site.

We work very hard to provide an efficient Internet presence that services over 200,000 daily visits from people and automated web spiders. A large web site like this, that can handle that amount of traffic, is increasingly expensive to operate. Our only viable source of revenue (for now) are the ads displayed on each page.

If you enjoy our content, please enable our domain in your ad-blocking package.

more information       contact us

[hide this message]