This topic is in the Jokes, Puns, & Pranks discussion forum.  (rss)


*** Life In Canada




Topic started on 13-7-2004 @ 09:24 AM by TrueLies


Pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance

There are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

People order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke.

Banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counter.

We leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

We use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we
won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

We buy hot dogs in packages of 12 and buns in packages of 8.

The Canadian Civil War was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.

We use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".
We have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.



***How Canada got it's name***



The original name for Canada, dreamed up by a parliamentary committee in London, was "Cold North Dominion," but that was too long, so they abbreviated it C.N.D. The King's Royal Governor presented the new name to the inhabitants, and they didn't say a word. Just looked at him.



"Well, what do you think?" asked the Royal Governor?



"C., eh?" said the first fellow, and just looked at the Governor.



"N., eh?" says the second guy.



"D., eh?" says a third one. Then silence.



"Hey," says the Governor. "I like that. It's a helluva lot easier to pronounce when you spell it that way."



So that's how Canada got its name.



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 13-7-2004 @ 09:35 AM by m0rbid



Originally posted by TrueLies
Banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counter.



It's true!!! LMAO... great laugh... I don't care that my country is laughed at on a world wide scale, I still love my country, and it's one of the greatest place to live!



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 13-7-2004 @ 09:43 AM by TrueLies


Every country has their share of illogical logic, haha. like that one eh?

And no need to get defensive, it's just a joke man..



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 13-7-2004 @ 01:01 PM by websurfer



Originally posted by TrueLies
***How Canada got it's name***
...
So that's how Canada got its name.


Actually the name came from a group of natives that called a small village Kanada. The settlers kept the same name.

Nevertheless the other jokes were funny. The double cheeseburger, large fries and diet coke cracked me up. Not something I would pay attention to but funny nonetheless.



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 13-7-2004 @ 02:21 PM by TrueLies



Originally posted by websurfer
Actually the name came from a group of natives that called a small village Kanada. The settlers kept the same name.
Nevertheless the other jokes were funny. The double cheeseburger, large fries and diet coke cracked me up. Not something I would pay attention to but funny nonetheless.


I know that, i'm cdn dude... I got it in my email...



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 14-7-2004 @ 12:30 PM by m0rbid



Originally posted by TrueLies
Every country has their share of illogical logic, haha. like that one eh?

And no need to get defensive, it's just a joke man..


Hey, I wasn't getting defensive, sorry if that's how it came out. I actually enjoyed the joke.

I think that's one of the thing that is great about us, we can laugh about joke being made about our country, without getting all angry about it and stuff, while still loving it and enjoying it.

Now excuse me, I'll go serve my self a big glass of maple syrup.
j/k



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 14-7-2004 @ 12:36 PM by TrueLies


True Canadians can make fun of themselves without getting pissed off.
I haven't heard any Americans make fun of themselves since i've been here.
But Americans are pretty serious when it comes to their country, they've been through alot the past 200 years... Canada on the other hand, has had it pretty easy... I think thats because we were colonized by the british and just went with the flow.. British rulers thought of the new Americans as rebels and needed to be taken out but they weren't... So Canada has had it pretty nice..

We drink and carry on with our silliness thats become a skill, invent our # and let other countries take credit for it... I think it's cuz we don't really care and know in our hearts what we did... I could go on, but I'm gonna go drink some of
my tim horton's coffee...
Miss you guys! *Canada forever baby*



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