The Grey's Are Illegal Aliens and Have Abducted My Job!

I used to be a cattle mutilator and quite successful at it until those no good lazy Grey's came along and under cut my salary with their new fangled technology, and pushed me and my fellow workers out of a job. Then I went into the exciting and amazing field of crop circles, and was making a pretty good living at that, until those damn Grey's decided they could make a crop circle cheaper. So, once again my job was outsourced to illegal aliens.

Of course, those aliens are claiming they were here first, but come on! I went to school and I never read about how those creepy white landed slave owners pushed extra-terrestrials off of their land, and onto reservations. The United States didn't engage in military campaigns to slaughter the Grey's, nor did that nation engage in dubious tactics such as giving the Grey's blankets infected with small pox in an attempt to cause genocide. Please.

Look, I'm all for immigration and I believe it is part of what made America so great, but if those Grey's really want to take part in the American Dream, then they should apply for visa's and get a damned green card, like all the other immigrants who came here the right way! Just because American's who aren't indigenous came over from Europe and colonized the new world, doesn't excuse aliens from some other world coming to America and attempting to colonize it. Two wrongs don't make a right, right?

It's not that I'm a bigot, and to be perfectly honest, some of my best friends are Grey's and I have a few Pleiadian's who I go bowling with every Saturday night. But those guys all came here the legal way, and are respected members of the community, and are just as American as you and me...well, they're a little quirky what with their proclivity to pour Louisiana hot sauce all over their hot fudge sundaes but aside from that they're as normal as you and I, other than the fact that they're from another planet, and have a totally different DNA, they're just like us, and really good guys.

I'm just saying, every nation has a right to protect its borders, and just because someone has a flying saucer with really cool headlights, doesn't give them the right to just park that flying saucer smack dab in the middle of Smallville U.S.A. and set up business.

As an ex-patriated Nibiruvian, I would like to, respectfully, take issue with a number of your complaints. First, I would request you refrain from using the term "grey", as it is quite opprobrious. We prefer to be referenced as "Southern-Niburuvian", or "So-Nib" for short. Thank you.

When we came here, we queried your government about the most fruitful employment opportunities. We were told that the fields of cattle mutilation and crop circles, were wide open, as these were jobs that America's refused to perform. Later, we learned the truth was, you had recently unionized and were breaking the backs of your employers, with your "cadillac" health care plans and exhorbitant salaries. Either way, we have just as much right to feed our families, as you.

Beside the facts that we are able to survive on far less income and send approximately 80% of our tax-free income, back to Niburu for our families, our higher level of intelligence has revealed the source for "free" health care, in your facilities referred to as Emergency Rooms. And, I must say, having the ability to transport ourselves to any of Earth's continents in a matter of minutes (with no CO2 emmissions, I might add) has allowed us to sample all forms of health care and determine yours to be unequaled. And free ! Oh, I said that already, didn't I?

You say that you want us to go through the legal process of immigration, before entering your lands, yet your people leave signs for directions and dihydrogen monoxide for hydration, at numerous locations along the route . It appears as an open invitaion to us. Especially since the advent of the "Follow Us to America" GPS iphone app. The funny part is that we can come and go as we please, but you have to purchase a photographic identification packet, in order to travel outside your "borders". Seems a little silly, doesn't it? We think so.

Since you brought up the notion of "The American Dream", let me confer a few small grievances. It is becoming a little easier for us to do our shopping, as most of your manufacturers have accepted their responsibilty to package their products with our language prominently displayed. Signage is progressing, in this aspect, but is still lacking. We have waited long enough for your motion pictures to be presented in the language of our ancestors. So, we will be seeking an injunction against Hollywood, until this matter is resolved. Your numerical systems are quite antiquated and do not easily translate to ours, so it is vital that you begin an immediate conversion to the Nibiruvian system. You know, Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness thing.

By the way, being people who consume uncooked portions of under-sea creatures, you really shouldn't put down Louisiana red hot sauce and hot fudge sundae.

Oh, I almost forgot, those so called Nibiruvian "friends" of yours are sell outs and you can tell them I said so!

[edit on 12-2-2010 by WTFover]

reply to post by WTFover

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See? Isn't that just typical of these illegal aliens? You give them an inch and they take a light year! Just as politically correct as all other left wing minority groups, they get all pissy about terms like "grey's" demanding to be called Niburivian-Americans, or Southern whatevers, (sigh), please! I am forever being taken to task for seeing the world in black and white, and the first minute I acknowledge a grey area, what do I get? "Oh, you shouldn't call us grey's"! Pffffffffttttt!

Look, I am not saying the "greys" or Niburivian-Americans don't have a right to survive, or eat or feed their families, and if they want to put Louisiana Hot Sauce on ice cream, hey, who am I to judge, right? What I am saying is that these E.T.'s don't have a right to feed on us! What with their black tar viruses, and creepy cloning experiments, it is enough to drive a sane man batty.

Those grey's might like our "free" health care system, but I for one, can't stand going to the emergency room any longer, precisely because of this "free" health care. The wait is interminable and I don't think I could stand another visit to the emergency room just to watch some poor slob die right there in the waiting room, because some snotty nurse is insisting on dotting the i's and crossing the t's, and filling out all those damned forms in triplicate.

I do have to admit, however, that those illegal aliens have a damn good point about the photographic identification packets we have to purchase just to travel freely. When we live in a day and age where illegal aliens have a better idea of what it means to be free than law abiding citizens, then there surely is a problem with the damned government causing all this nonsense. But, while I am willing to agree with those aliens on this point, we surely part ways when they start clogging up the court system in a stupid attempt to get Hollywood to make movies in some alien language nobody speaks but those damned illegal aliens!

As to the insults the previous poster hurled at my bowling buddies, I am not even going to get involved. These are good friends of mine these coneheads, and whatever issues they have with the so called Niburivian-Americans is between them, and I ain't getting involved in no cultural war, that's for damn sure.