reply to post by karl 12
Ok , I have one for you ..........
Three men were on a hiking trip when after two hours of hiking through dense woods they came upon a river that looked to be at least a mile across.
All Three got down on their knees and prayed to God for help to cross it safely.
The First man prayed for strength to swim the distance safely. He was granted the wish and made it safely across in 1 hour.
The Second man prayed for the strength and the tools to make it safely to the other side. He was granted his wish and made it safely across in thirty
minutes with a rowboat.
The Third man prayed for the stregth, the tools and the intelligence to make it safely to the other side. He was granted his wish and was made a woman
who looked at a map and saw a bridge to cross the river just a five minute walk away..................
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During a discussion, the subject came up as to whether I would prefer to have alzheimers or parkinsons.
Naturally, I chose Parkinsons.
After being asked why, I replied "I might spill some of my beer but at least I'd know where I put it"
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reply to post by karl 12
Knock Knock....
who's there.....
Disguise....
Disguise who?
Disguise jokes are killin me....
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So this guy walks into a bar, and notices a barrel full of money sitting at one end of the bar. He asks the bartender, "what's up with the barrel?"
The bartender tells him that they're having a little contest, and with the completion of three phases of the contest the winner walks off with the
cash. All it takes is $100 to enter. "Tell me more", says the guy. The barman points toward the other end of the bar. The guy looks down and sees a
300 pound monster. "that guy is a former goldengloves champ", says the bartender, "you've gotta knock him out". "Phase two", he continues,
"Out the side door of the bar, you'll find a rabid pitbull with an abscessed tooth. Bring me that tooth". "Finally", the bartender informs him,
"the third phase". "On the third floor above the bar is a 75 year old hooker who's never been satisfied. Take care of her, and the money's
yours."
Accepting the challenge, the newcomer takes two fifties out of his wallet and walks down to the other end of the bar. Tapping on the big man's
shoulder, he lays him out with one punch as he turns. Off like a shot, he's out the side door of the bar. The bartender hears snarling and barking
and finally a whimper. Soon after, the contestant reappears in the door and asks, "Okay, now where's that woman with the bad tooth?
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reply to post by whaaa
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the
bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “That's terrible, you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey”.
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3 babies are sitting in their mther's whom, waiting to be born. so to kill time, they chat. the first baby turns to the second an asks, "What do
you wanna do when you get out of here?" the second says, "i want to be a plumber, get some better plumbing in here, it's too wet in here, what do
you want to do?" The first says, "i want to become an electrician, we need some lights in here, wy too dark in here." they turn to the third and
ask him what he wants to do. he replies "A Boxer." Confused, the other two ask why. the third responds, "I wanna punch out that guy who keeps
comming in here and spitting on us!"
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3 babies are sitting in their mther's whom, waiting to be born. so to kill time, they chat. the first baby turns to the second an asks, "What do
you wanna do when you get out of here?" the second says, "i want to be a plumber, get some better plumbing in here, it's too wet in here, what do
you want to do?" The first says, "i want to become an electrician, we need some lights in here, wy too dark in here." they turn to the third and
ask him what he wants to do. he replies "A Boxer." Confused, the other two ask why. the third responds, "I wanna punch out that guy who keeps
comming in and spitting on us!"
[edit on 17/3/2010 by Paladin327]
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