You might be an ATS-hole if ...

Let me start by saying that I am by far the biggest ATS-hole in the world and this thread is for bonding and merriment.


Having said that ...


You might be an ATS-hole if …

1. You don't deny ignorance.

2. You deny ignorance too much.

3. You insist.

4. You think being a mod will improve your quality of life, earn the respect of your peers, make it rain Benjamins, increase your street cred,

5. You think being a super-mod includes all of the above + more sex.

5a. You think being admin. includes all the above + free Red Bull.

6. You use more than three smileys in a post.

7. You include "deny ignorance" in your posts.

8. You don't embrace sarcasm.

9. You are unable to convey sarcasm.

10. You use the word "paradigm" more than twice a year.

11. You think your funny but your not.

12. You don't know the difference between "your" and "you're"

13. You're on my friends list or have me on yours.

14. You think noone "gets you"

15. It's "no one" not "noone" ATS-hole!

16. You think the gov. would go through all the time, money, and effort to set up, maintain a conspiracy forum just so they can keep tabs on YOU, when they can just as easily create an account and achieve the same thing.

17. You think you're getting the short end of the star and flag system.

18. You take an unremedied "alert" as a personal attack.

19. You mutter.

20. You wonder what ATS will do should you ever leave.

21. You think 20 posts before you thread is asking waaaay too much.

22. You think that "skeptic" and "believer" are two different things.

22a. You think that "info" and "disinfo" are two different things.

22b. You use the expression "two sides of the same coin" when you don't understand it.

23. You take anything that happens here as a personal affront.

23a. You think life is sooooo unfair.

24. You think drinking and posting rocks.

25. You make threads in the form of a list.



Thats what I got so far … feel free to add to the list.

We're all ATS-holes in some way … I for one I carry my ATS-holishness with pride!

Your super-mega-ATS-hole schrodog.

PS. Keep in mind you might also be a BTS-hole.


disclaimer: this is a drama free zone ... please please keep it light, respectful, and not crass, and let's see if we can have a little fun with it.

[edit on 11 Nov 2009 by schrodingers dog]

reply to post by schrodingers dog

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awww...

golly gosh darn it SD - so nice to have you back

so - what does that make me?

:-)

(just the one smiley)

Atsuperstar!

reply to post by schrodingers dog

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(that was easy)

SD: life IS unfair - right?

here's to life in the drama free zone

God....im responsibel for some of that...I am an ATS-Hole

Now to add:

26. you think its cool to pick up members of the opposite sex on chat or mutter

27. you think im a disinfo agent

28. you think Johnny Anonymous is a robot...or reptilian

29. you believe in reptilians

30. you agree with me

31. you flagged this thread (guilty)

Your posts always amuse me, dawg.
I am #
2,3,7,15,16,17,19,22,22a,25

4.,6.,7.,11.,12.,13.,17.,24.,26.,30.,31. I'm guilty of.

32. You think I am funny.

33. You have ever posted in any of the political forums.

34. You have ever dug up an old post of someones to prove they contradicted themselves (extra ATS hole points, depending on how long ago the post was made).

35. You know what a Manwife is.

36. You have ever used this emoticon.

37. You have debated the same member on the same topic in two (or more) different threads at the same time.





[edit on 11/11/2009 by whatukno]

38. You think this thread is all about you.

:

39. you go back an hour later and add #39 and the word paradigm to your post.

:

[edit on 11-11-2009 by The Utopian Penguin]

Oh gawd

Seriously guitly.....ive also been called a disinfo agent on three threads of the same topic at one time....

Can anyone beat that

reply to post by schrodingers dog

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....There is an automatic filter between your brain and your hand, and though your brain is cursing expletives like George Carlin, your hand types all nicey nice words....from $#%& to butterflies and rainbows.

oh SNIPPIT!

[edit on 12-11-2009 by AccessDenied]

Holy crap I love you...

That's one of the things that makes me laugh here. People really think alot of these cockamamie ideas scare the govt or tptb

Like we are this important. Frankly I think most of the stuff here is far off base...just MHO of course

-Kyo

40. (?) If you have ever added another member to your foe list in anger because they owned you in a thread and made you feel stupid in front of your peeps...


and as for the rest on the list.......guilty (raises hand)






(nice thread Dog)

7.a You include "deny ignorance" in your signature.






.....You might be a redneck if you think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi....

reply to post by AccessDenied

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What is this automatic filter of which you speak? Aren't those the mods that put [snip] in place of what you really want to say? Is this what your referring to?

(Wukky, the cause of carpel tunnel syndrome among moderators on ATS)

[edit on 11/13/2009 by whatukno]

Trust me Wuk..AD has an automatic filter....____>

more to add:

* You think that all of the moderators are really government agents who get paid to do nothing but scan through the posts of conspiracy - theorists.

(if there is such a job, please direct me to where I can send a resume...)

* You think that some of the moderators are really reptoids...

(you may be right, who knows...but then again, so could the guy sitting RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!!!, Muhahaha....)

* You think every movie about aliens heralds impending disclosure...

(it doesn't, someone just wants to get paid)

* You believe in and support Billy Meiers....

(really, after all we've seen?)

I’m an ATS-hole because none of the above apply to me.

Guilty as charged.

I am an ATS hole and don't want to be rehabilitated.

I am happy just like I am.

You might be an ATS hole if you cannot use see, saw and seen correctly. This is worse than the you're and your problem.

You are named WUK

[edit on 13/11/2009 by OzWeatherman]

reply to post by OzWeatherman

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lol, I'll star that one
sl