Here are a few I got via email - I hope that's ok:
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
These were hilarious when I first read them, I'm not so sure now. 
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Keep those coming. 
