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This topic is in the Relationships discussion forum.  (rss)


Why havent i got a girlfriend yet?


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reply posted on 20-5-2009 @ 02:18 AM by badgerprints


I think this brings up a good point. Why do you think you should have a girlfriend already?
Really?
Do you think it is mandatory?
Do you think you are not cool if you don't have a girlfriend?

A fourteen year old doesn't need a girlfriend.

Don't sweat what you see going on around you.
Don' put too much stock in bragging rights or stories that your friends tell you.
Don't worry about others that might think or say that you need a girlfriend.

You are just a kid. Nothing wrong with that. Just be a kid. You will find that you end up getting old way too fast anyway.

(Man, I wish I could be a kid again.)

You can have all of the friends that you want that are girls. That doesn't mean you have to have a girlfriend. By the way, knowing girls is the best way to meet girls.
Just do your own thing and don't be in such a rush. It will be in your best interest to wait, watch and learn before jumping into that pool because once you start dating you will suddenly find you see everything differently and not always for the better.

Since you are already thinking in that direction "l'll give you a thought to ponder on.
"Girls want a nice guy but they are rarely attracted to a nice guy."

Think about this. If you figure it out , you will be years ahead of most of the male population.

Good luck.



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reply posted on 20-5-2009 @ 05:48 AM by Azador


Dont settle for just one jesus we are living in the golden age of communication.Get many and whittle em down to two or three and learn to juggle.
Just remember to show them whose boss chicks like an assertive bordering on arrogant mind set in a guy.



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reply posted on 20-5-2009 @ 05:51 AM by ahnggk


Originally posted by badgerprints
I think this brings up a good point. Why do you think you should have a girlfriend already?
Really?
Do you think it is mandatory?
Do you think you are not cool if you don't have a girlfriend?

A fourteen year old doesn't need a girlfriend.


Well if he can't control himself anymore, so why not?? If someone convinced himself to jump off a cliff, he will do so...

I suggest he just avoid 'adults'. The OP is a minor, if he has relations with an adult (depending on country or state laws). That adult could be charged with statutory rape even if the 'acts' are purely consenting..

I have to say that because I read too many a news about an under-aged boys falling in love with older girls and older girl, going to prison for 'rape'. My cousin was involved in such relationship, avoid it... If you're going to relieve yourself, you might as well avoid trouble too.... You have been informed!



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reply posted on 20-5-2009 @ 11:32 AM by truttseeker


Dude I say just chill. Sure having a girlfriend is fun at times, but at other times when youre friends are out doing great stuff youll be at her house watching the notebook, or marley and me. Im 19, so I wasnt there too awful long ago. Just chill out and dont go looking for them. When you try to impress them theyre usually laughing at you as soon as you walk away. I have to remind my friends about that detail all the time.

PS ask any girl on here, sense of humor is key. Good luck



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reply posted on 20-5-2009 @ 03:19 PM by Shoomoo


Originally posted by ahnggk
Originally posted by badgerprints
I think this brings up a good point. Why do you think you should have a girlfriend already?
Really?
Do you think it is mandatory?
Do you think you are not cool if you don't have a girlfriend?

A fourteen year old doesn't need a girlfriend.


Well if he can't control himself anymore, so why not?? If someone convinced himself to jump off a cliff, he will do so...

I suggest he just avoid 'adults'. The OP is a minor, if he has relations with an adult (depending on country or state laws). That adult could be charged with statutory rape even if the 'acts' are purely consenting..

I have to say that because I read too many a news about an under-aged boys falling in love with older girls and older girl, going to prison for 'rape'. My cousin was involved in such relationship, avoid it... If you're going to relieve yourself, you might as well avoid trouble too.... You have been informed!


I know what your saying, but I want a girlfriend my age, not an older one lol.



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reply posted on 21-5-2009 @ 10:21 AM by riley


reply to post by Shoomoo



I doubt making her your "lover" would be quite legal either.. and even if it is I think her parents might have a problem with it.

The OP disturbs me a bit.. 14 year olds are not expected to be sexually active yet you speak as though you are years overdue.

[edit on 21-5-2009 by riley]



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reply posted on 21-5-2009 @ 12:44 PM by truttseeker


Thats twenty first century society for you. Im 19 and have been going since I was 12. Dont worry man itll come to you. dont rush stuff, it will only complicate things



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reply posted on 21-5-2009 @ 01:41 PM by mrmonsoon


In all seriousness...

If you don't, try making good friends with a woman your own age.

A woman who is your friend will tell you things about women that girlfriends won't....

It will also give you experience in dealing with women as people, not someone to hook up with.




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reply posted on 21-5-2009 @ 09:57 PM by heyo


reply to post by questioningall



Nope the ego works. Girls always love egotistical guys, but make sure you change into a sweetie when you get her.



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reply posted on 21-5-2009 @ 10:42 PM by orionthehunter


I'd work on just being friends whether someone is male or female. The girlfriend part will come later whether you want it to or not. At 14 I had 3 older sisters and one younger sister. I certainly don't remember looking for a girlfriend. However I do remember I liked one girl way back in elementary school and even brought her home with me one day. I told my mother I wanted to go to her house. The girl "Donna" wanted me too but didn't fill in all the details about what we were going to do. I got denied by my parents. Just recently I was reminded of a time when I was very young and apparently got in big trouble for hiding in the closet with a female about my age. It was a female that lived nearby that we were visiting. My parents were busy talking and I went off to play with the girl around my age. I didn't even remember the story and still don't. I figure the girl got in bigger trouble than me because she still remembers. Just be friends and the girlfriend part will come later.



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reply posted on 21-5-2009 @ 11:42 PM by ahnggk


Originally posted by riley
The OP disturbs me a bit.. 14 year olds are not expected to be sexually active yet you speak as though you are years overdue.

[edit on 21-5-2009 by riley]


How about 8 years old?? Just don't ask me how it happened. I for me, you can direct that sex drive into something else, try lifting a boulder with your mind - haven't done it yet, but almost there

And oh boy! I keep forgetting this, okay here goes:

Just be yourself, you don't have to change as long as you're not hurting anyone. If you have to change to get something, you're betraying yourself... We are all created unique by nature, and someday you'll find that woman that's also uniquely created for you. Not someone you have to adapted to.. because such relationship won't last long...

[edit on 22-5-2009 by ahnggk]



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reply posted on 22-5-2009 @ 06:48 AM by Sonya610


Originally posted by riley
I doubt making her your "lover" would be quite legal either.. and even if it is I think her parents might have a problem with it.

The OP disturbs me a bit.. 14 year olds are not expected to be sexually active yet you speak as though you are years overdue.



Yes, I read the post the same way. The use of "lover" implies this is about sex, and that his friends are already having sex. That also means getting a "girlfriend" really means finding another 13 or 14 year old girl that either is having sex or will allow herself to be pressured into it since "everyone else is doing it".



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reply posted on 22-5-2009 @ 03:19 PM by ravenshadow13


reply to post by The Shade



AGREED. When I was younger I was an awkward little girl, ugly, whatever. And now I'm 18 and I'm not. You need time to grow into your body, because once you feel comfortable with yourself, more people will be attracted to you.

Actually I urbandictionary-searched my name and it said something like "Really ugly little kid, really drop dead gorgeous woman". Funny, right?

I think most of my friends and myself bloomed around 16.

Plus, 16 is the age of consent in most states. If you really um, start, much before then, you run the risk of legal trouble.

[edit on 5/22/2009 by ravenshadow13]



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reply posted on 23-5-2009 @ 11:34 AM by ahnggk


Originally posted by ravenshadow13

AGREED. When I was younger I was an awkward little girl, ugly, whatever. And now I'm 18 and I'm not. You need time to grow into your body, because once you feel comfortable with yourself, more people will be attracted to you.


Uhmm... I still find most 18's awkward, like when things aren't going their way..

I don't mean to say you're like one of those awkward late teeners, but growing and improving yourself should never stop. Never stop raising the bar and never believe you've arrived!

I used to think like that too in my teens that when I got out of college, everything would fine and smooth, the time came and realized I still have much to learn...



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reply posted on 7-6-2009 @ 09:34 AM by Interryanmilan


awww....


no, unlucky mate. i had a girlfriend and i realised that it wasn't all that and a complete waste of time. all you do is kiss...and stuff
i havent really cared much about girlfriends,pressure, and about 'being cool'.
being on here makes me feel more spiritual, and a greater understanding of life and that makes me feel a lot better than any gf!


im 14 too



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reply posted on 11-6-2009 @ 04:29 PM by Republican08


Man, 14, you don't have jack to worry about, girls are just now wondering what seperates men from women. Then things get interesting in high school. That's when your big break comes, go hard and fast.

Then college, and you just don't know what to do with yourself, then sooner or later you'll be at bars with Stephen Tyler pickin up chicks left and right.

Nothing wrong with you, remember you can get rejected 1,000 times but eventually one will say yes.

If all else fails, and you really worried about it, get a practice girl, there easy to find, and when your friends are like your with her?? Just say you don't know all their is to her. Then wink at em, leave the rest sealed up.

Otherwise ignore the advice and keep your grades up. You still have what another 50 years of life left in you, AT LEAST. You'll be doing fine.



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reply posted on 11-6-2009 @ 05:17 PM by Republican08


Originally posted by heyo
reply to post by questioningall



Nope the ego works. Girls always love egotistical guys, but make sure you change into a sweetie when you get her.




Ego, is a vague statement Heyo.

*Hands heyo a corona*

Remember women can smell Cockiness and Confidence, its a fine line. Be that guy everyone likes, not that guy that everyone hates.

Remember confidence is good, cockiness is a repellent.



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reply posted on 11-6-2009 @ 08:25 PM by whatukno


Why would you want one?

Women are deceptive, evil, and vile.

The longer you are in a relationship with one the more and more they want to change you and to destroy you as an individual.

First they rid you of your friends, then they throw away all of your stuff. The final move is to make sure none of your family talk to you again.



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reply posted on 11-6-2009 @ 09:18 PM by riley


Originally posted by whatukno
Why would you want one?

Women are deceptive, evil, and vile.

The longer you are in a relationship with one the more and more they want to change you and to destroy you as an individual.

First they rid you of your friends, then they throw away all of your stuff. The final move is to make sure none of your family talk to you again.





You attract what you project. If you think all women are evil bitches then that is the kind of women you will attract or deserve. The "good" ones won't want anything to do with you as you'd already be condemning them.

[edit on 11-6-2009 by riley]



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reply posted on 23-6-2009 @ 09:52 AM by Shoomoo


I think i misused the word "lover". My bad on that.

I mean like, a girlfriend. Sorry bout that.



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