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This topic is in the Relationships discussion forum.  (rss)


Why havent i got a girlfriend yet?


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Topic started on 18-5-2009 @ 04:52 PM by Shoomoo


I still have had no lover in my life (I am 14 now), but I seem like a normal person. I am not ugly, not a geek, not mean, not weird, and not inappropriate, but i still see other people (even the jerks who treat girls like crap) get girlfriends. I feel so left out, unloved, and isolated.

Do you think I am ugly? c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com...

What should I do? Im getting depressed from this



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reply posted on 18-5-2009 @ 04:56 PM by ravenshadow13


reply to post by Shoomoo



You're only 14! I think most people started getting girlfriends around here at 15 or 16... my boyfriend had his first girlfriend when he was 12. Don't be impatient. It will happen when you least expect it! I promise.



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reply posted on 18-5-2009 @ 05:06 PM by symmetricAvenger


dude you will be fine

just network a bit.. love comes when its ready !!

don't feel left out kiddo

:thumbsup:



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reply posted on 18-5-2009 @ 06:00 PM by gimme_some_truth


Originally posted by symmetricAvenger
dude you will be fine

just network a bit.. love comes when its ready !!

don't feel left out kiddo

:thumbsup:


Exactly, No worries buddy, I had my first girl friend at 15. I dated a round a bit before that but my first real relationship came at 15.

Love happens when it happens, I garuntee you are not the only one your age with no girlfriend.

Keep being a gentleman and treating the girls/women with loads of respect and you will have girls all over you soon enough.

Also I am sure there are a few girls you like, try talking to them, if they seem interested try asking them out, it can't hurt.

Remember the worst they can say is no....



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reply posted on 18-5-2009 @ 06:02 PM by Helig


Give it a few years and you will surely be beating your head against a wall wondering why you bother with the ladies. They can be just as much of a curse as a blessing, often at the same time.



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reply posted on 18-5-2009 @ 06:17 PM by nick_napalm


Dude, girlfriends are overrated.

Enjoy being single, because girlfriends they take away a lot of your free time. And generally cause a lot more trouble than it is worth. Especially if your only 14.

But if you really want to get one be patient, talk to girls, be nice, and respectful and it will eventually happen.



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reply posted on 18-5-2009 @ 06:23 PM by Helig


Also I almost forgot the best (and perhaps most pro tip ever): don't look for dating/pickup/female advice on the internets, ever! It seriously is the worst place for that kind of thing, save for perhaps a feminist rally.



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reply posted on 18-5-2009 @ 07:23 PM by Gazrok


Why havent i got a girlfriend yet?


Because you are looking for one.



Sounds silly, but it's true (and you'll find, as you grow older, that some of life's greatest truths, are actually the silliest concepts...)

Stop looking, and it will find you (well, she will....you likely don't want an "it").....

You're only 14...I know it seems time moves glacially slow at that age, but years from now, you'll look back and wonder why you ever thought life was hard at that age, hehe.....(but in a good way).....



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reply posted on 18-5-2009 @ 07:37 PM by questioningall


Hey don't worry I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 17.

Be yourself - know yourself and love yourself - girls will flock to someone like that - it is called confidence in who you are - not ego driven either!



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reply posted on 18-5-2009 @ 07:56 PM by berenike


Originally posted by Shoomoo
I still have had no lover in my life (I am 14 now), but I seem like a normal person. I am not ugly, not a geek, not mean, not weird, and not inappropriate, but i still see other people (even the jerks who treat girls like crap) get girlfriends. I feel so left out, unloved, and isolated.




Can I just put in a word for those of us who are geeks, weird or insecure about our looks?

We all like / need to be loved regardless of whether or not we appear 'normal' or 'attractive' to other people.

You're still very young, try not to be too judgmental of others. The girl who's right for you may well be 'unusual' - you won't know until you meet her. Maybe that's why she's taking so long to find - you may be overlooking a lovely person because she's not conventionally pretty or behaved.



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reply posted on 19-5-2009 @ 06:57 AM by ahnggk


reply to post by Shoomoo



Don't worry, look at me, I'm already 27, never had a GF and still virgin, lol.

I'm damn straight male btw. I simply not found the right girl for me yet and I'm not in a hurry!



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reply posted on 19-5-2009 @ 07:19 AM by Little One


reply to post by nick_napalm



This is so precious lol - OP - youre right... youre too cute NOT to have a girl... but Hun - listen to this cat I just quoted. He has the right idea!

The whole 'gf' thing is far over-rated! And although Im sure you are still the MAN! Your'e still 14 Hun. I have panties that old!

All joking aside, the chicks will come. And so will you - very shortly! So just enjoy hanging out with NO ONE telling you what you can or cant do! Because THATS what a gf equals too - a new parental unit. HA!

I vote this thread 'The cutest thread on ATS EVER'!

xoxo,

~ M. Sky



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reply posted on 19-5-2009 @ 09:17 AM by mrmonsoon


I wasn't going to post here, but decided I needed to.

Like others have said, when I actively searched, nothing.

When I didn't worry about and lived my life, women seemed to come out to me.

I have been told by female friends that a guy looking hard is like a panting dog and very unattractive to women.

That and try treating girls your age as people, not hotties you want to get at. Seriously.

and last but not least,"patience young padawon"

[edit on 5/19/2009 by mrmonsoon]



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reply posted on 19-5-2009 @ 09:56 AM by Acidtastic


Originally posted by ravenshadow13
It will happen when you least expect it! I promise.

This is pretty much what I was going to say. And it's true. Stop looking, relax, stop expecting things to happen, and they just might do it on their own accord. If you're always on the look out, then that is going to come accross in your behaviour. It could be off putting to someone who could tart out as a friend, and then develope into something more. (you never know how "love" will happen)

Also, you're only 14, give yourself a break. You've got so much life ahead of you. I know that NOW seems like the only time there is. But trust me dude, just chillax, take the back burner and let life do its thang.

Oh, and you're not ugly btw. And even if you were, I'm a standing testament to ugly people getting in relationships



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reply posted on 19-5-2009 @ 10:24 AM by sweatmonicaIdo


reply to post by Shoomoo



You are in no position to complain. I'm 22 and I haven't had a single female acquaintance or friend yet.

All bow to me.



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reply posted on 19-5-2009 @ 10:50 AM by elevatedone


reply to post by Gazrok



Ditto...

My 16 year old daughter was so upset a couple of months ago, when her boyfriend broke up with her.

I consoled her and told her just hang out with her friends, don't go looking for a replacement, when you least expect it, you'll meet someone.

She did and wasn't even thinking about a boyfriend at the time.


Hang in there, you're in for a heck of a ride at age 14, even when you're 15, 16, 17....

Best Wishes.



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reply posted on 19-5-2009 @ 10:58 AM by The Shade


I remember being like you when I was 14... Soon after I had the same thoughts I found a few special ladies. Now I am 18 have the body of a spartan and have to fend women off me!

A tip... Just be yourself, never underestimate the "Female" species and hold on to your belongings!



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reply posted on 19-5-2009 @ 11:52 AM by OzWeatherman


You're only 14 mate

There's plenty of time for you to get a girlfriend and all the baggage that comes with a relationship, just dont go out looking for it. You will most likely find someone that likes you the same when you least expect it



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reply posted on 19-5-2009 @ 07:41 PM by Darth Lumina


Don't worry kid, you'll have plenty of girlfriends in your lifetime. I had puppy love girlfriends from 7-14, but that's just all puppy love. It seems more difficult at your age because you are entering manhood and you are getting new feelings within you. But don't sweat it buddy, in the next few years, if you are still posting here on ATS, and you dig up that post, you will laugh at yourself. What you are going through is normal and the best advice I can offer you is when you do get a girlfriend, treat her like a princess and wear protection! If she treats you like dirt, don't put up with it, just tell her to beat it, because never settle for just any girl, even if she is very attractive. Good luck!



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reply posted on 19-5-2009 @ 11:42 PM by ahnggk


Originally posted by mrmonsoonnot hotties you want to get at. Seriously.


You said the magic word there, 'hotties'.....

Hotties, physically attractive women...... Aren't the only women/girls out there....

The most pleasant of the female species I've ever spent time with are those that aren't the prettiest, physically speaking... The pretty ones mostly have their ego all planted deep in their bones.... Of course there are exceptions (and quite most of them are married for their good looks and good attitude, they are like very precious stones, rare and extremely hard to find.......)...

But if you're looking for a pretty girl and also good deep inside, and will treat everyone around you, not just you, right, not just those with cash and good-looking too, then you have to be extremely patient like me, 27 Yo and still looking...

Best advice: Look around you with GF... Copy what everybody else is doing, be a slave to the worries of this world... Ofc, we are not in the conspiracy forum so it ends there!

[edit on 19-5-2009 by ahnggk]



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