[SATIRE] How to get huge ATS Points: Secrets Revealed!

1) Make an unsubstantiated claim in your thread title. The more outrageous the better. Say you have proof of something. Use an exclamation point to make it even more exciting!

2) In your first post say something completely unintelligent. The less research you do the better as people will have to post to point out your ignorance.

3) Leave no room for doubt. State your case as fact. This will enrage the skeptics and delight the believers.

4) Use video. People love watching video, it's much quicker than reading through long tracts of boring text. Also, the less informative, more vague and more open to interpretation the video evidence is, the better. People will still Flag your thread and post 'Good Find!'.

5) Make a prediction. Be careful to make sure the event is not too soon or not too distant. Within the next month or two is good. State that the source of your prediction is channelling for extra points. The prediction should also be outrageous or apocalyptic.

6) Be populist. The majority of posters want to believe in something so pander to them. They don't want to be told they are wrong, they want their beliefs validated.

7) Be controversial. Libelling a minority group is always good. The bigots will post to agree with you, other people will post to defend the group. Spouting religious dogma or attacking a major world religion also both work equally well.

Good luck!

[edit on 14-3-2009 by TheBorg]

Proof that genius is alive and well on ats.

I could use some points...hmmm.

How about:

Russia, China Invade USA, Saved by Alien Intervention!

or

Sell Your Soul for ATS Points: Half-Price Sale Prediction!

I think I'm getting the swing of this!

I hope you're not making this up...

I didn't join ATS to get a gazillion points. Granted, we do have a very few members that enjoy making points. And some of them have done it just as you have described.

The biggest majority of our posters are people of integrity and would not do as you suggest for points.

Maybe I took your post as serious when in fact you may be posting sarcasticly.

Please explain...are you being sarcastic, honest or are you trying to get more points.

I don't understand the motive for your post.

As much as i can see your point, i do think you're being a tad bitter and this thread istelf is completely pointless and contributes nothing towards the ATS community.

Nobody likes a laugh more than i do, except maybe my wife and some of her friends, well come to think of it, most people like a laugh more than i do, but that's not the point.

Stop this thread. It's just .

Stop this thread? You've got plenty of points, we don't.

And to think somebody would lie, make things up, fabricate or confuse facts on ATS is just ridiculous; absolutely far-fetched.

This is the home of undisputed integrity. You can rely on the honesty of all posters, no questions asked.

I think Obama is getting direct feed-back from his Staff regarding ATS current issues, in fact.

No, let's keep this thread open; we can get great ideas, and maybe some points!

Wow, two posters with over 10,000 points. Please don't dis deny ignorance, for there is none here at ATS.

Is there? (Look, Mom! I got 1 point!)

[edit on 14-3-2009 by SS,Naga]

There's nothing easier than making ATS points. Earning respect - now that's a whole other ballgame.

Yes .. i could not have said this better !
I may not have many ATS points, most of you probably don't even know me , but i think all my posts have been dealt with in a respectful manner.

EIGHT SIMPLE STEPS

1) Decide to present something important.

2) Research the topic thoroughly.

3) Write the thread with the intent to educate the reader.

4) Supply plenty of links to the major and subordinate topics.

5) Present the material with an easy-to-read format.

6) Add some graphics to make the thread visually interesting.

7) Try asking at least as many questions as you answer.

8) NEVER really worry about points, stars, flags, or applause.




[edit on 14-3-2009 by loam]

We're just jesting. What's the issue anyway? Did truth die and make ats points worth something?

Who cares.

reply to post by MarrsAttax

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Good Post, it is something that a lot us have thought. Its unfortunate that LCD rules some really obscure and unimportant threads, maybe that why gossip rags sheets are still popular.

It would be nice if we had a board called "Gossip Rags and other BS", this would at least flag these threads as not serious or relevant.

The "gossip rag" threads really take away from really good posts that get lost in the noise of "gossip rags" and multiple threads on the same issue. I guess its to hard to use the search button!



[edit on 3/14/09 by mel1962]

Put a pic of a hot babe as your avatar

Who cares who's really behind the computer

Watch the points roll in

reply to post by MarrsAttax

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I don't think this is any great secret as such. There's several posters on this forum that immediately spring to mind that appear to rely on these tactics. I can think of one that rarely contributes to their thread once it's got going either - just a case of lighting the touch paper and standing well back.

I don't put much store in points or how many times threads are flagged to be honest. Forum cliques - which do exist - pretty much make the system meaningless. Just because a view appears to be a popular, doesn't make it necessarily the right one or suggest that it has any real merit.

reply to post by dizziedame

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Just to make it clear my post was satire. If I wanted the points I would have followed my own advice

To mr-lizard: I'm hoping to contribute by making people think a little before they start junk threads. They may be a hint of bitterness in my post I admit, but I was also trying to make people laugh at the same time as making a serious point (maybe I'm too silly ).

I'd like to see the points system reward well thought out posts instead - I'd love for everyone to take loam's advice.

I apologise unreservedly if my sense of humour is slightly odd If you hate this thread then please don't post - you will only be giving it undeserved attention and give me points!

Can I use this as my signature?

i joined in 07 and i have written to a moderator that i don't need points, and he is welcome to give them to someone else or delete them.

my aim is to engage in thoughtful dialog, although that has even gotten heated a few times. if you are trying to gain more points, i would suggest you go elsewhere and fulfill your needed instant gratification.

i respect the people on ATS who take the time to share their knowledge, especially in the scientific fields. it has led me to many other serious websites for further research and i have gained insites into many interesting subjects. i can't name you all now, but thank you

reply to post by MarrsAttax

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Just like I said, satire.

However, you started this thread as a funny, got 700 some points already.
I'm so happy for you: the point-people will soon be respecting you!

People take themselves too seriously, generally with nothing to say, just points and friends to win.

I like your thought: you think, with humor! The others are still outraged, and I predict some 5-18 pages to this thread.

Gotta go get some points (elsewhere; I already got 3 here!). Then, I'm gonna do some living! Big Time!

reply to post by MarrsAttax

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Gosh, I've never done any of those things... Maybe I should start!

I like Loam's model, too.

sad thing is by replying to this , were giving him more points. pitty about this i thoughts ats was a place where intelligent people came to discus facts and become enlightened on whats really going on . not some bad game of who has the most points.

reply to post by SS,Naga

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700 points! omg how embarrassing. It's kind of proving my point though.

BTW God forbid that anyone should actually deliberately follow the advice in the OP.

Thus demonstrating the point I'm making perfectly. You're torn between rewarding utter stupidity and letting it go unchallenged - something that happens on lots of threads. It's just that on this one it's been made explicit.

The annoying thing is if you don't reply because you don't want to reward the OP, the thread would just be full of posters who agree with them, revelling in their own ignorance.