Its a Farse
internet romance is laughable in most cases as one doesnt know the true identity of who they are speaking to

all you know they could be a serial killer with computer privilage in prison
or some stalker or some other crap

Yeah your right about that, but like I said a lot of times people meet their friends friend, so they all know who they are etc, you know through msn and bebo and so on.

Then when they meet up it continues from there.

But yeah you have to be careful.

It's certainly possible, and even more so on sites like facebook where you have to verify who you are via friends or school assigned email addresses. Facebook you can meet people through your friends you otherwise wouldn't have met. Thats how I met alot of people from a new school before I actually started going to that school.

Technically thats considered meeting somebody over the net. Something like your friends friend who you have never met face to face.

When it comes to completely anon online, that is alot less likely. It's possible, but you also need to be REALLY careful and sensible about it.

Anything is possible though.

reply to post by grimreaper797

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Yeah the best way is when your friend actually knows the person, then you can easily confirm things about her and you can let down your guard more and relax.

I totally know what Given is talking about. I have had that "lust" for someone before. And it IS easier to type than talk sometimes. HOWEVEr, I have learned, that if relationships start by text messages, or telephone, or msn etc... It is difficult to fall into the "REAL" world of being with someone.

For example. A guy i knew in highschool, and I, used to talk on msn like every day after school. But we'd go out for lunch or something in the day and I would have nothing to say to him. It was easier to talk on msn then it was to talk to him in person.

This isn't always the case - I think its possible to meet someone that you can connect with, on the internet.

However. Caution is a must. Because, just as YOU can be anyone you want to be on the internet - someone else has that right as well.

Not everyone is as honest as I would like to believe - but - sometimes, just sometimes, there are honest people out there.

- Carrot

I have changed my mind. For some it may be possible, but I feel it is very unlikely. It will likely only cause harm. The tried and true face to face way the way to go.

reply to post by eye open doors

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There is no certain way. Its just easier to act on a computer than in face to face. Many people cannot hide themselves as easy in person, but thats not to say people don't do it. Some people can hide their real self in person better than other can do it online.

I meet my current wife online in 1997, we married in dec of 1998 and are still together, of course we were both in our late 30s at the time, I am not sure that the same dynamics would be in play for younger folks.

Of course we had some things going for us that many might not have, Same religious beliefs being the main thing.

So it is possible to find the one..

I agree too that age may play a positive role. For my BF and I this was very true...he's 46 and I'm 39 so by our age you tend to wisen up and lose the pretense and a lot of the bravado that lends itself to "youthful" dating scenarios.

Still, it seems so unlikely that it's possible to find another person who is 100% honest right out of the gate...in person or online. But again...it happened to me.

Still amazes me really.

I think the worst possible aspect of internet "dating" is that element of deceit that comes from not meeting face to face. Combine that with impulsiveness of youth, grand expectations and the impatience many people have in regards to finding a companion, partner, lifemate, soulmate (whatever you want to call it)...they'll grab the first person that shows interest...

I think the older set is better equipped mentally and emotionally to manage online "romances"...experience does wonders in all aspects of life

I didn't read any of the posts above mine, so forgive me if I say what's already been said.


Online love can and will work as long as both persons try. I think it's probably harder for some people because most people like to see the affection and feel it.


That is all........... for now.

It can happen and it can be good, but just be aware of how it can ultimately turn out. There are a multitude of things that can happen and usually will.

In some cases a person is too shy to pursue or even start a conversation or a relationship in real life. "Hiding" online actually helps them be themselves more or less. It can also tempt someone to be someone different than themselves for the same multitude of reasons.

I met someone online about a year ago and we became fast friends during the course of a month. That was long enough for me to be ready to move forward. By moving forward I mean I wanted to further the relationship by talking on the phone and eventually meeting. I thought that was the natural course. The other person balked, continually and I became suspicious. I had come to really love this person as a friend and didn't want to lose them but remained steadfast in my determination of moving to the next step.

They felt the same way and didn't want to lose the friendship. This person finally came clean. It was a girl. She had become bi-curious and never meant any harm but only wanted to try and live out this fantasy that had overtaken her thought process. I wasn’t mad and wasn’t really surprised. She sent REAL photos of herself and I thought she was quite cute.

Long story short – we ended up moving forward with telephone conversations and eventually met up in person. Spent an entire weekend together and are very good friends to this day. It turned out Ok, but you can see the propensity for disaster in the situation.

Be VERY wary of online dating sites. They are designed to take your money and nothing more. I’m not suggesting you’re dumb, or anyone for that matter, but the fact is that these sites “Fake” members. They wouldn’t continue to do it if it didn’t work.

Example: You go to a dating site and they immediately advertise single hot women (or men) in your area. They have these real looking member profiles and so you sign up. You contact these hawties and never hear anything. The profiles are “Fake”! The websites steal photos and make fake profiles to lure people to join, and it works. Very well.

I know this because I did research after a friend had her pictures stolen from a modeling site and used on one of the dating sites. Here is how it works:














As you can PLAINLY see, all of the profiles are the same. It depends on where YOU are to what info they put in the profiles. They are simply logging your IP address and sticking that in a "Bait Profile". A LOT of sites do it. How many I do not know. Just be aware of it.





[edit on 9/10/0808 by Dirty Vegas]

Yes, finding your true love online is possible. Of course you have to be careful...thats just common sense. 10 years ago, internet dating was really seen as taboo but with people finding it harder to meet that special someone in the real world due to work, time etc, the internet has become more and more an acceptable place to meet new people.

For myself, I had done the usual routine of meeting people though friends, bars but still couldn't find that special someone I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with so I started trying out internet dating. I did it through a site called Plenty of Fish and sure there are those who lie (met a few) but there are just as many genuine people on there too.

I dated online for a year trying to find the "one" but had no success so one night I decided to delete my profile. When I logged in there was a picture of this beautiful woman who had just joined that day so I figured what the heck. I messaged her and to my surprise she messaged back lol. Looking at her profile she seemed to have all of the qualities I was looking for so we chatted for a week and things went really well. I gave her my phone number for if she ever wanted to chat via phone instead of sending emails back and forth and to my surprise the next day she called. It was really funny because it took me completely by surprise. I was busy playing a mean round of xbox golf against a friend when the phone rang. After talking for an hour SHE decided that she wanted to meet and go on a date (in her words she figured she might as well get to know the real me sooner than later)

I picked her up and we took her dog for a nice walk and ten went to diner. I was sooo nervous and was at a complete loss as to what to talk about. Admittedly she was extremely intimidating to me because she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen but we hit it off and continued to see one another. It was really weird because we had such a strong connection from the beginning like we had known each other for years. We dated for another year and got married last April and to this day still feel that giddiness like we did at the beginning. We were able to find our soul mate online and so can anyone else if they truly know what they want.

I do agree with another poster here that age does have something to do with success rate. We are both in our early 30's and have dated a lot in our past so I suppose that we've kind of knew what we wanted.

I know there will always be people out there that say it is impossible whether its from their own bad experiences with it or just plain thinking its wrong or cheesy but it worked for me as well as many others so......

As some posters have pointed out, there are those rare occasions where online relationships work out, but.... I'm not exactly sitting here holding my breath

lol Yea, you shouldnt really hold your breath with online relationships. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt. Friendships work well on the net, but I dont think that anythink more can really work well imo.

I will totally admit that I have tried the whole online dating scene.

I found a lot of women who were...how can I say this...they were desperate.

I think if you are looking for a desperate woman and looking for a quick lay or whatever then try the internet.

Because it all comes down to that you have to use your common sense. If a WOMAN is searching on the internet, then you have to guess that she is super desperate, or something is probably wrong with her. Maybe not in a totally bad bad bad way, all I am saying is she probably has commitment issues, or self esteem issues or all of the above?

Because women, in the world of single dating hold all the cards. A woman knows before she goes out that night if she is gunna take a guy home, or give out her number (ahhh the power)

So, if women have all that power...then why would she be looking online?

Just use your common sense Thats all.

You could have saved yourself time and just written "Ug".

Your idea of dating seems to consist of nightclubs and trying to get laid. Perhaps these women are just desperately trying to avoid the drink spiking scene.

reply to post by Perfectenemy05

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For that statement then you would have to say that for the men as well. I don't agree with you on that one. While it may be true for some, I believe that for most, they are tired of the same old dating routine such as bars and clubs and want to try something new. How is that desperate? I didn't do the online dating scene out of desperation but my job kept my too busy to try the "normal" route and without all the pressure and drama and the women I met online including my now wife were FAR from desperate.

One of my house-mates has met someone online. I'm not sure exactly what sort of site, but they chatted quite a bit then moved on to texting and after a week or so, spoke on the phone.

They had their first date nearly a fortnight ago and for a couple of nights last week the 'object of desire' was invited home. (They live locally).

My other housemate and I were under strict instructions to behave ourselves and were made aware that although the dog was allowed to meet the new paramour we might not be granted the same privilege.

We've found this highly amusing and haven't missed many opportunities to tease - I even offered to bathe the dog in honour of our guest.

Well, on Friday they came home at about midnight and stayed in my house-mate's room until about 5pm the following afternoon. My h/m came down for a quick (about 5 minutes) shower then scooted back upstairs.

As the day went on, we seriously wondered if we ought to send up a rescue party. If they hadn't had to work that night I hate to think how long it would have been before the new squeeze would have been allowed to see the light of day.

It's been great fun, being part of all this. I was even granted a brief introduction on Saturday afternoon, seconds before they left.

My h/m is suffering loss of appetite, cannot sleep, and frets all the time about how things are going. But, they really like each other and have found a lot in common.

Even though they've spent so much time together, apparently they haven't got too far beyond the 'friends' stage because neither of them want to rush too much.

I hope this gives some hope to anyone who has thought about finding friends or love through the internet. As everyone else has said, be careful and use all the caution you normally would when meeting new people.

Oh, h/m just came home and apparently the love-sickness is abating. Phew - I was getting worried........not.

Online Love?

Is it possible? I believe it is, anything is possible in this world as long as you want it them to be. Although the word "love" gets thrown around like a meaningless word, it is quite powerful if you truly find it.

The most important about 'online love' is RESPECT, TRUST and HONESTY. Those three words play a big factor in looking for love. This not only works online but also in the real world (not so distant relationships). You will be surprise to see how in-love can someone be online, it is so grand, so immense that it can also break your heart in a matter of seconds, if you are not careful.

Respect will unite your minds together,
Trust will endure your souls together,
Honesty will solidify the bond between two lonely and tamed hearts.

The minute one of them three gets abused, so is your relationship. Just because HE/SHE is so far away, doesn't give you the right to say "I love you" and once you hang up the phone with them, you will say it to someone else closer to you.

You are not only lying to them, you are lying to yourself as well.
If you can be truthful to yourself, respectful with yourself, and honest with yourself, then and only then you can find true love. It doesn't matter if 'love' is miles and miles away.