Why would a woman do that?

So, I'm new at the college I'm attending. I had a couple of hours to kill before class, and as such I was sitting in the cafeteria by myself eating my lunch and minding my own business. I was seated at the back of the cafeteria, and there were tables with a bunch of people at them, others with nobody at them, and others with loners like me who don't know anybody yet. Anyway, out of nowhere this beautiful girl walks up to my table, says "Mind if I join you?" and sits down at the table right next to mine. We started talking, and not only was she beautiful, but also seemed intelligent, mature, nice, etc. It was like an ideal scenario that I would picture in my head actually coming true. We were talking, laughing, etc, then the topic turns to cars. I was talking about some problem with my car, and she says "Ah, well my boyfriend's a mechanic..." Wait, what? I mean, maybe I'm being too hard on the girl. Maybe she doesn't have any friends here and is just trying to make one. I'm certainly not opposed to having female friends. But to walk all the way across a cafeteria, pick me out specifically, and starting talking to me and getting to know me? I mean I'm not desperate for a girlfriend or anything. I'd be fine making a new friend; at least somebody to talk to in between classes, but I have to admit that was slightly disappointing. But why me? Why not one of the many other people sitting in the cafeteria? It just seems a little odd is all. Am I making mountains out of mole hills here?

D'oh!

reply to post by Herman

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Herman

Women are nuts and we don't seem to think rationally till we get into our thirties.

Why did she do this? I really don't know. She probably thought you looked nice and wanted a casual chat for lunch.

Try to not think about why women do things... you will not ever figure it out. It will also drive you mad.

Love,
Fish

Maybe she didn't know anybody too, she saw you by yourself, and you probably appeared friendly.

Is that right?

Haha, thanks fish. That's what I needed to hear.

Like I said, there were a lot of other people sitting by themselves there, and I was all the way in the back. She walked by all of them to get to me specifically. I guess I do tend to appear friendly. People just seem to trust me really easily; it's kind of weird.

It wasn't really that big a deal. She just happened to be very attractive and display most of the characteristics I look for in a girl, and I'm pretty damn picky, so it was disappointing after talking to her for a while to hear her bring up a boyfriend.

I wouldn’t abandon the notion of her liking you. Maybe she thought you were cute, and figured she'd just tell you upfront she had a boyfriend. It certainly doesn’t stop some guys. Or maybe she was just using your table as a pit-stop to rummage through her purse, to make her boyfriend mad, or because she had a cramp.

reply to post by _Phoenix_

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Sometimes it is possible to overcomplicate things or read into something that isnt there all of which means that the simplest explanation is the most likely . Although it is impossible to say for sure with out being there I would say that Phoenix has it the nail on the head .

Cheers xpert11. .

Trust me kid, things often happen for a reason. I’ve been the one guy in a room full of quitters that’s actually gone home with the stripper after the show was over. I’m not saying hit-on-her, I’m just saying look at her differently when you pass her in the halls.

reply to post by Herman

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Many women do this. Many women do not have the guts to tell their bf that they want to see other people, so they will start trying to line something up behind his back instead. (Many men too, I suppose )

This whole thing was a test to see if you're the kind of guy who will hook up with a woman even knowing that she's already involved with someone. And, you "failed"....

lol Sounds to me like she was just being friendly Us gilrs are like that ya know


I think you are over thinking the situation, She seen you she thought you looked like someone she could have a nice chat with, Someone she may like to be a friend off, simple..


Who knows where a friendship will lead in the future, And stop thinking so much, Take each event as it happens,

Never know she may have some nice friends!

[edit on 28-8-2008 by asala]

Typical woman C.T. honestly.

Personally, imo women do this kind of crap to keep us guys in check, nothing more. They really are evil creatures.

What I would like to know is if you could somehow flip the situation...her sitting there by herself, eating, and you coming up and saying...hi can I join you?

Right away you would have been labled a creep in her eyes.

You should have looked right up at her and said...ummm no im good, just like she would have said to you.

Im gonna go with, you didnt look like some crazy stalker type and she felt comfortable in sitting next to you cause she didn't want to sit alone. Not that she actually wants to get involved with you, just wanted a good conversation and thought you would fill that need.

She mentioned the BF as a warning. Girls do this. That is to say hi, I might like you but that doesn't mean your geting into my pants.

Of course, women are insane, it's not their fault it's just how it is.

Also, women are crafty. They will sometimes mention that they have a "boyfriend" when in reality they really dont.

This is so perhaps she can see where the relationship as friends could go first.

I know A LOT (in fact I think all of my female friends do this) They all wear a fake engagment ring all the time, just so guys dont hit on them wherever they go.

Maybe she doesn't really have a boyfriend and was just testing the waters to see how you would react.

Hmmm, if you see her in the cafateria again, ask her to join you for lunch.

reply to post by elevatedone

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I disagree, if she says she has a bf then you don't want to go there. I wouldnt want a gf that I got with by her cheating on another guy.

I say ignore her. If she has a bf already then it's not worth your time. I mean if you want to be friends with her thats good and all, but last time I checked women don't often date their friends.

reply to post by whatukno

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No... I meant, she was only saying she had a BF, not that she really does, just saying it, to see what response she would get.

Women do crazy things ya know.

reply to post by elevatedone

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well if she doesnt have a boyfriend but shes telling people she does, it makes her a liar and therefore unfit for dating. If she is going to lie about something as simple as a boyfriend then obviously she will lie about anything.

reply to post by whatukno

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That's exactly right WUK.

I bet she really did have a bf. Women who are already spoken for DO flirt with other guys, all the time. Yes it's hard and confusing for all us nice guys, who don't want to go around breaking up people's relationships and all that - but they do it anyway.....

Sometime girls will -say- they have a boyfriend as a safety cushion, basically so you won't think they're weird or a loser, and to gauge your reaction.

If you see her again, just be normally friendly, maybe as her for contact information to see if she'll respond.

I wouldn't be too put off by the bf comment, iow.

reply to post by Badge01

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If she is doing that shes lying. There is no reason to lie to a complete stranger. Still if she is going to lie about having a bf when she doesnt, does it not send a red flag up?

I wouldnt ask a lady that I thought was in a relationship for her contact info. I think that would be quite rude.

reply to post by Badge01

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"Boyfriend" can mean just about anything. It covers a whole huge range of sexual activity. It could mean "husband", it could mean "exclusive bf", it could mean "friend-with-benefits", it could mean "circle of friends"....

The point being that when a woman mentions a bf like that, it's a test to see how you feel about her already being involved with another man (men) and whether or not you will still go for it....