Why are Some Men so....Just come in and read this :=(

This may shed some light.

That certainly does help put it in perspective, for me anyway, cheers for the linky eye
I have had a few revelations lately so I am not as hellbent on "fixing" this as I was before. It's not something for me to fix per se and I realize this now.

I don't understand men that don't like to do it. For the wife and I, it was five times this week. The weekends are usually where most of the activity is (four times over the long weekend) and then yesterday the wife made a point of showing me how she was wearing a thong under the pants she was wearing to work. Well.....that's all it took for the fifth time of the week to take place.

I love my wife....she's yummy!!

Ummm, not all men. No trying to brag here, but I'm going to be 38 soon and my "drive" is 10X what it was when I was 18 -19 years old.

I think that part of it for me is that I find my wife so attractive, I have to have her all the time and I'm always thinking and fantasizing about her.

Also, it's true that things get better with age.... umm "time" wise that is.



[edit on 30-5-2008 by elevatedone]

reply to post by ImJaded

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You are welcome

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btw thread moving over to Relationships... Please try to continue the conversation without overt sexual discussions. Bedroom details are just that, bedroom details, keep them confined there and remember we have members of all ages on ATS and BTS.

Here is a possibility you may want to look into. Many medicines have side effects of impotence and low to no sex drive. If you hubby is on any medications for any reason, you may want to cross reference them for similar side effects. A simple google search of something like ""Drug name here" side effects impotence low lobedo". Will return tons of results.

Often times men are also too proud to admit impotence. Much less go see a doctor for Viagra. It is a very delicate subject that you should approach with much caution.

reply to post by dgtempe

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Rape him! It might turn him on!

Well unless he is the REALLY serious type, and calls the police on you hahaha.


[edit on 2-6-2008 by _Phoenix_]

hmm have you looked into what work has got to do with affecting his drive? Depression can do serious damage mentally and your physical wellbeing. I think you two need to spend more time together as a couple without the sex, but communicate at that level where you can gradually get his emotions out of the tight ball. Don't go on a trip, do something more of a short term, go rock climbing, go on a picnic, go to the beach. Something not sexually but something you both can do as a couple. You need to build that interaction again before you can start moving your hand around a bit..lol

I agreed with Grady and with a lot of what people have said here.

I confess, I am one of those guys that lost interest in sex for a while...a long while...okay it was 4 years.

I had several things working against me:

1) low testosterone levels
2) my wife had stopped doing the things that excited me (I hadn't communicated this to her.)
3) and this might sound weird, but we moved into a house that just felt asexual. I mean, the bedroom reminded me of my Grandmother's room and I just couldn't be sexual in that room. The whole feel of the place was just not conducive to sex.

Anyway, I got some HRT, I finally actually talked to my wife and told her what excited me, and we moved. Problem solved.

My point is that it could be any one of the things that folks mentioned, or it could be a combination of issues. It could be something really far out that no here has considered yet (transexualism, emotional illness other than depression, illicit drug usage, who knows?)
It might be so complex that only a professional could really sort it out. I strongly support you talking to a medical doctor or a therapist.

In the meanwhile, just know that you are unlikely to be the problem. I don't believe that long term loss of sex drive is normal - so he is the one with an issue.

Well he has been through alot emotionally, frustrated at work. It really isnt a wonder the sex has died out. The worst thing you could do at this point is is make harsh comments about it, this will not help the situation it will only make it worse because it acts as yet another blow to an already damaged ego. i really cant say this enough but women need to understand that the little things matter to us just they tend to be a different set of little things, when he is out mowing the lawn somewhere between the front and the back bring the man out something to drink(also applied to any kind of yard work). when he does something handy about the house praise it even if it didnt come out quite right, to you it may sound trivial but to us it is pretty much the same thing as getting flowers for no reason it tells us we are appreciated.

do try to keep in mind that once probably wont get him going but it will start the process. Also at his age it could be a health issue but it really does sound as if it is a good deal emotional. I know when the end came for my ex wife and i, i just didnt want to because the situation we were in made me feel about worthless so i figured why bother? it had nothing to do with loving her or anything but a combination of alot of different things just pretty much stripping my desire to nothing. just my two cents good luck.