I am not talking about a killer thread like
SpartanKing's Houdini Thread, which I
found rather informative. I am talking about
the lowest common denominator threads. I am talking a thread with 700 posts and 3 flags. A thread
where people get banned for losing their cool(or not having any to begin with).
Here are the rules.
1. Make your title all caps and sensationalize the urgency. If you make it all caps, it will get changed by a mod, giving you the all important "Mod
Edit"(see rule 3).
2. Grammar is not necessary or advised. If you give the impression that you are completely void of any intellectual thought, you will get to at least
2 pages of filth.
3. Mod edit: Everyone of your posts should have at least one of these. This makes you seem emotional and irrational, especially if they remove
expletives. If you can maintain a stream of mod edits, the thread will never die.
4. Say something ridiculous(for some of the readers, this means just saying what you think). If one says something unfounded, people will start
flaming, this is the precursor to rule 7.
5. DO NOT, under any circumstance, use proper punctuation. This shows that you type in a stream-of-consciousness way. In some rare instances, this
gives some of the less intelligent people on the board think you are an alien.
6. You want your posts on the thread to outnumber all of the posts from other users in a ratio of 1.5:1. This shows just how moronic the thread is
(giving you at least 50 more hits). One line posts, back to back, are an easy way of doing this and leaving a reason for the all important "Mod
Edit"
7. Flame War!!!1!!11one!: A thread can never reach the upper echelons of greatness without at least 20 pages of useless content. To achieve this,
start belittling peoples characters, attack those that defend you, and do not read any posts including your own. Make sure not to attack an
intelligent user on ATS because they will likely put you on their ignore list and forget about your stupid thread.
8. Try to offend people. This goes along well with rule 1 and 7. If you can create a name with a hook like "ATS is a bunch of gay CoIntelPro" you
are golden. You have just offended all users and mods as well as gay people. This makes you seem like a bigot from the get-go and a flame war will
erupt in no time.
I hope this guide was informative for those of you looking to boost your ego. I wish all users well in their quest to achieve internet-coolness.
Nothing is cooler than The Ban Hammer
Mod Edit: To Enhance Thread, And OP's Street Cred.
[edit on 23/5/2008 by Mirthful Me]
