So old Wukky gets to be alone eh?

reply to post by whatukno

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Honestly Wukky, Iam the worst person to give you advice on love.
Just be happy with yourself, and hopefully someone will pick up on that.
Nuff said.

Oh crap semper, I get this one, or similar ones sometimes "I hope you're not gay."

Source Mens Health

I usually just get offended and leave the place where its said. Is this actually a pick up line from a girl? oh good lord this is worse than a guy saying to a girl.

"hey baby that dress looks nice it would look much nicer crumpled up on my bedroom floor"

Ok reading through these I see a weird trend. Perhaps I have been getting hit on and just don't know it.

Crap. Seriously you women really need to be more up front and not so dang complicated. Wukky's not that bright when it comes to relationships.

[edit on 3/29/2008 by whatukno]

Whatukno, you really should go to the bookstore and buy "The Game".

I guarantee it will help you more than you can imagine.

I would also recommend the female members read it. It would be interesting to hear what you think.

reply to post by thehumbleone

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Anything to do with love and dating I would rather refrain from reading right now. It won't help.
I'm gonna go watch a horror movie. Great thrills there.

Strike that..LAW AND ORDER IS ON!!!

[edit on 29-3-2008 by AccessDenied]

Here's an idea from experience Wuk. I have been in and out of so many relationships it isn't even funny. Sometimes my fault, sometimes the others fault, either way doesn't really matter. Easy come easy go.

It might harden your heart somewhat, but that's ok. You just pick up your beak and drive on.

Now here is my latest thought, because I am getting out of a 6 year relationship. You don't 'have' to be mono to mono to be in love or feel love.

You don't have to have someone there 24/7 committed to your life to be in love. You can love just for the sake of loving and it doesn't even have to be a girlfriend or boyfriend. It can be just a really good friend who really digs whatever it is you all think is wonderful.

Its the passion of life of just finding the common things that makes each of us connect and be awesome to each other that you probably seek and it isn't necessary that it be with just one person.

Be yourself, find the things you enjoy and share them with everyone else who enjoys being like you too. Love it, live it.

Ben what you described was the feelings I have for a lot of people here on ATS. That brotherly love that one feels for there friends. That cannot be discounted.
My friends, the ones that obviously care for me on this site have responded in force on this thread and it has been appreciated greatly.

Human contact however, that's something I miss. old wukky needs a hug (well more than a hug granted)

From reading the links from Semperfortis, apparently I have been hit on, except it's that mind game, subtle, "guess what I really mean" crap that I don't understand.

<----This guy needs someone that is a little more obvious. Why can't girls say something to the effect of "hi, your cute want to dance?" Why the freaking game girls?

Im hangin with my loafs of friends when a girl comes up and asks "Are you gay? Cause my friends want to know" This is a pick up line?

I just get offended and leave at this point. Seriously, just cause I don't act like a total ass around women? Ugg.

Tis hard, but you know what? I try and look at it real simple,

Don’t keep thinking about it!! Looking like a lost puppy can really scare a girl off loll.

Put yourself out there! Scrub up! keep well groomed and keep making an effort to do so, You kinda on the market so you got to dress it up a bit loll,

Love yourself first, Enjoy being on your own and then feel the need to like to share than rather than feeling your life is not complete with out someone in it,

And when you nab her! Don’t give it all up at once; slowly let her get to know you, HOLD back

And them I believe are the keys :@)


[edit on 30-3-2008 by asala]

Just what gets to me sometimes is when my drunken, toothless, 50+ year old roommate can get 20 somethings and girls look through me as if I don't exist.

Ah forget it...

Thanks Asala, I am sure your advice is helpfull. I will give it a shot.

reply to post by whatukno

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Just my curiosity Wukky, but are you sure he ain't payin' for it????
If not, why not ask him how he does it?

AD, here is what he says,

"Treat them like dirt and they will always come back. Lie to them cheat on them, make sure that they know that you think they are worthless and they eat up any good attention you give them."

Sorry but I can't do that even if it is true.

Then he is picking up the wrong kind of girl, or he is lying to you.
Those girls don't need a man, they need a good dose of self esteem.

reply to post by whatukno

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I hate to admit it, but what your friend is doing is using a psychological tactic that is very effective.

He may be exaggerating to the degree which he is using it though.

Another example of this could be giving a back handed compliment to a woman with high self esteem. For example: your eyes are pretty, are they contacts? Or,
you: Nice nails are they real?
Her: no.
You: Oh, well I guess they're still pretty anyway.

It's a subtle but effective form of push-pull that your friend is using. He is probably a seducer.

All it's meant to do is make the "target" question her own value, thus becoming fascinated with this person who is not enamored by her charms or beauty like everyone else.

It can also make her think you have perceived her as lower value.

[edit on 30-3-2008 by thehumbleone]

He is right in a way though, and no I am not saying that men should be like this or you should either.

You will attract the exact person you are projecting of yourself. If you treat someone like crap, you will attract the type of person who feels low and worthless and be willing to do anything to get your attention. It is a dominance, submissive type thing.

Now I would recommend that you don't try that. You seem like you want to give and get in equal terms, which is hard to do because everyone seems to want something more than they give - its a fine line.

I think its better to just learn to not be as needful of anything or anyone and just love what you can get and not be demanding or feel compelled to do more than you really want to.

Well it may work but thats not my thing. I like to build a person up not tear them down. The way he treats these women in my opinion is wrong.

If a woman can't have a good opinion of themselves how can they expect anyone else to have one for them? I just don't get it obviously.

reply to post by whatukno

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whatukno, I don't get why you are always against, or denying that these things work or are happening.

Regardless if you want to try it or not, I think you should realize women play these games all the time. And they usually have to because women are usually the ones pursued. Women are more "naturals" at this stuff, and they know how to exert influence and manipulation much better than men.

I'm sure you can look to your own life as an example, and I'm sure we all can. They may consciously or unconsciously do it, but I can guarantee almost everyone does it to some degree whether they admit it or not.

I think it's time to come to grips with reality and realize this kind of stuff is going on. Learn to play the game or don't play at all.




[edit on 30-3-2008 by thehumbleone]

reply to post by thehumbleone

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Did I hear seduce?
You seem to know alot about relationships! Are you a girl?


[edit on 3/30/2008 by Givenmay]

reply to post by Givenmay

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Haha, no I'm not a girl. You're the first person to ask me that.

Wukky,

Have you tried the whole online dating thing?

Stick an ad up on Craigslist perhaps?

Ya never know.

By the way I'm in the same boat, know how you feel.

reply to post by thehumbleone

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...just making sure...it's always hard to tell what gender a person is on here!
Well, anyways, you know your stuff!

reply to post by Givenmay

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Nah c'mon, I just like reading up on a lot of stuff. I read a lot of psychology, stuff about human interaction, and the social dynamics of male/female interaction.

What can I say, I like people and I like to study them.