We all know this is true.Nothing makes us feel better than a good laugh.That is one reason I love coming to BTS everyday, because I know something on
here will make me crack a smile at least once.(NOT ON CAMERA, though)
So, I have started this thread for the same reason.A place to post funny stuff, jokes, stories, pics, videos..whatever you like...and for others to
come here and just get a good dose of laughter...especially if they are feeling down or having a bad day.
So here is few to start....
THE SPEEDER
A guy is being followed by a highway patrol officer with his lights on.The guy panics debates if he wants to pull over or out run the cop.He punches
the gas and loses the officer,but pulls over because he realized he was only speeding.The officer catches up to him instantly and pulls up behind
him.
Officer: "Ok sir,I'm feeling generous today and if you can give me one good reason that I've never heard before about why you were speeding and
lost me,I'll let you go since it's the weekend and I'm 5 minutes away from the end of my shift."
The guy thinks to himself for a minute...
Speeder: "Well officer...a couple of years ago my wife ran off with a highway patrol officer...I thought you were bringing her back."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BLONDE AND THE PLANE
A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant
watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.
She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back The blonde replies, I'm blonde, I'm
beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here.
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in
Economy and won't move back to her seat..
The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an Economy place and she will
have to return to her original seat.
The blonde replies, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!
Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use. And that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde
woman that doesn't listen to reason.
The pilot says, You say she's blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!
He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear....., and she says, 'Oh I'm sorry - I had no idea,' gets up and moves back to her seat in the
economy section.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss. The pilot replied,'I told her First Class
isn't going to Melbourne.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JUSTICE SERVED(HAHAHA
DEADHEADS
A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the
mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify.
THIS WOULD BE ME
The judge called the case of People vs. Steven Lewon Crook. The bailiff opened the door to the holding cell and called, "Crook, come forward." Five
of the prisoners entered the courtroom.
LEARN YOUR LESSON
When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have
waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass
through a red light' five hundred times."
AHH, THAT'S BETTER!
A judge in Louisville decided a jury went "a little bit too far" in recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted of five
robberies and a kidnapping. The judge reduced the sentence to 1,001 years.
OOPS! I BLEW THAT ONE!
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few
trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well
put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he
chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOPE I made you laugh!
[edit on 15-11-2007 by AccessDenied]
