This topic is in the Jokes, Puns, & Pranks discussion forum.  (rss)


"The First Device"


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reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 02:15 PM by GENERAL EYES


(ok ok - I have to take a break here - but if anyone wants to post images of their own "first device" - stick to proper specs please - I'll be back to further drive this little personal inside viral joke into the ground.

Thanks for your support my endearing comrades - but I'm afraid I must take a break from the innuendo and try to return this to my original intent of attempting to inspire an fun little "arts and crafts" project.

I need to reboot my internal harddrive now. I'm starting to overclock here.

Love you all! Platonically, of course. )


[edit on 30-8-2007 by GENERAL EYES]



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 03:15 PM by Zaphod58



Originally posted by Badge01
Ya know, it's when one of these little 'devices' shows up that I start to worry!



I'm just sayin'...



[edit on 30-8-2007 by Badge01]


I demand to know where you got the picture of my prototype for my MKVII device! Who leaked that to you?!



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 03:32 PM by AccessDenied


Oh no, we all are gonna get PROBED!!!!!J/K



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reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 04:43 PM by Teratoma


HOLY CHEEBUS CRISPS!!! I'll be back after I CHANGE MY PANTS!!! You people are too funny. I don't think I'll ever go back to that stuffy ATS place again; I'm staying here.



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 04:50 PM by AccessDenied


reply to post by Teratoma



Welcome to the LIGHTER side.I hope you don't mind but after last night I added you as a friend. Please go to your profile and launch a comment section till you can u2u.( I sent you one )!



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 07:24 PM by Teratoma


And what the hell is this thing I just found?
external image

BTW if any of you happened to click on my "AFS" link in my profile earlier, you were directed to the wrong page. Seeing as how the URL had a bad word in it, the censor-thingie sent you to some dweeb's page instead. The actual site is far saucier and cool, and thanks to tinyurl.com, the link works now.



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 07:31 PM by Zaphod58


Ah, you found the one we came out with for kids to play with. We figured we'd start early, and that way they'd be used to them when they got older.



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 08:09 PM by AccessDenied


reply to post by Teratoma


Wow, what the heck?Never seen that before.lol



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 08:37 PM by GENERAL EYES




Fun for the whole family!

Tetratoma's homeworld must be one very happy place.

So considerate to include the younglings.

So many kids here in our subterranian colonization base feel terribly left out these days.

(sure explains the bad attitudes some of them have)

But great news - the local engineers on my planet have looked at the original "First Device", done a little reverse engineering to the tune and equivalent of $5 billion U.S. dollars and produced their own "First Device".

(Please understand the design modifications have to represent our culture, values and traditons as well a perform a constructive and useful function. It's a "pride thing". )

Amazing thing really - it flies through the air with a simple flick of the wrist, doesn't require fuel cells of any sort and is extremely durable.

It also has a neat built in biodegradable function so it will self deteriorate back into the environment by the time we all blow ourselves to smithereens.

Yay Free Energy and renewable resources!

Here it is. Our cultural triumph!



Money darn well spent in my opinion!

ADDED BONUS!

Our version isn't even available to the public yet (only high government officals and goodwill ambassadors have them) but there's already a "The First United Church of The First Device".

Let us pray....




reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 09:12 PM by Zaphod58


Hey GE, let me know if you're interested in mass producing them. I can put you in touch with my engineering and production departments. I'll cut you a good deal too.



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 10:02 PM by GENERAL EYES


reply to post by Zaphod58



Oh Zaphod! That would be wonderful!

I just spoke with my husband and he's prepared to start stocking the local "WALL" Mart shelves with as many of these babies as you can crank out.

Joyous day!



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 10:10 PM by Zaphod58


Great! I'll send you the number to our production company. We should be able to gear up and start cranking them out within a month or two depending on what new machining we have to do for them.



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 30-8-2007 @ 11:23 PM by Badge01


OK, guys, this is the new Threat Assessment for tonight.

If you see any of these 'devices' in your room tonight...well, you know what to do.

Just beware, despite their plushie exterior, I hear they have really big, uh, teeth or something:



-Digital Heat, Team Extreme - unofficial ATS hoax assessment squad.



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 31-8-2007 @ 01:26 AM by GENERAL EYES


Oh dear - haven't seen those "devices" per se, but I have seen this one!

It's here...now...staring at me.



All Hail Little Plushie Chuthulu, Consumer of Worlds.



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 31-8-2007 @ 05:58 AM by spacedoubt


You..are killing me..
all of you..killing me..

And if you don't finish the job...

Page 42 of my old high school biology book will finish the job.
I bring you..the Bacteriophage.
Of the VIRAL persuasion.

It's real folks.

image source: http://faculty.uca.edu/~johnc/BacteriophageT4.gif



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 31-8-2007 @ 06:14 AM by spacedoubt


um, oh no!

Yet another part of my life.
My career led me to the company that built this:
image source: http://thenonist.com/images/uploads/rbts16full.jpg

He is now in the Smithsonian.

Sometimes I would see his younger brother walking the hallways during lunch hour. He never took me up on the offer a toasted bagel with a schmear.


[edit on 31-8-2007 by spacedoubt]



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 31-8-2007 @ 07:35 PM by GENERAL EYES


Spacedoubt - I'm almost speechless!

(not fully, but darn close!)

As to that first "device" - I've had run in's with those little guys my whole life. Fortunately some NyQuil and tissues knock them right out.

As per the second "first device" - let's just say that if that ever came into my bedroom at night, I'm really glad Zaphod is mass producing my people's variation on the theme.

It would be an interesting battle, but I suspect it would take several of my "space bricks" to put that last guy out of commission.

YOWZA!

(and shame on his little brother for not taking you up on the bagel offer! Bad form! )



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 1-9-2007 @ 12:14 AM by Badge01


Uh-oh.

GE, look what I found in my laundry basket tonight at about midnight:



I started to panic, but then recalled you had a protector.

When he got a little too forward,



...I sent him over to your house.

I had to have some help, though. Fortunately I have the perfect counter attack cat, the 'CittyCthulhu'. :



Let me know how things work out, won't you dear?

BTW, do you think your Nyquil will work on these?





[edit on 1-9-2007 by Badge01]



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 1-9-2007 @ 01:16 AM by GENERAL EYES


What a charming Chuthulu!

I showed Plushie C. those photos, and she giggled and blushed.

He was simply the most adorable thing she's seen in the entire Lovecraftian realm!

As for Chuthulu Kitty, she might like my Battle Attack hamsters and Pandimensional Mice.

The mice were too busy to comment, but the Hammies say hi to Miss Kitty.



Sorry about those guys, they're Siberian Dwarf Hamsters, and a bit fervert for their cause.



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


reply posted on 1-9-2007 @ 01:46 AM by Badge01


Ooh, snacks! Yummy.




Wait...what was that?



Eek! Another of those Type I Devices.

Runnnnnn!



reply to this post:   copyright & usage 


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