My girlfriends dad died

I dont know how our luck could get any worse. we had it great. we both loved everything about eatchother... and now this happens and she has to go to her home city a couple hundred km away in her moms house.

she says she has to be there for the funeral. now I hear her mom is pregnant and she does not know how long she will stay there. i will definatly go there but my full time trade job is demanding and keeps a leash on me to stay here.

something like this happens to me every single time. I find a perfect girl who likes me... and then mister bad luck comes along and screws everything up for me! why do you like me so much bad luck!!!?

what should I do? hope for the best, or move along?


[edit on 2-6-2007 by SuperSlovak]

Dude don't put all your egg's in the basket just yet!!! It may seem to you that there is no light at the end of the tunnel for both of you but that's because your drawing on your past experiences. Yes it may have happened in the past but this is now and it's in your power to keep things from going bad!!

You already know to just be supportive of her 110 percent in anyway you can yes it's a traumatic time for her but she will also know you both have limitations on what you can achieve in terms of support in the ideal world we would all be able to drop work etc. and be there but we can't. Just be her rock dude and take the blows and just be there to talk to and listen even via phone you know. Just remember that you yourself will need people to unload to as well so make sure you go out with your friends etc.

Good luck mate and sorry to hear about the bad news.

My girlfriends had died on Sept 11th 2001, and my best advice is just to be there for her. Even if you cant be there in person at least keep in touch with her. You are acting like its OVER! Maybe she will only be gone for a week or two, she just has to be there for her mom. And her mom has a good few months before she has the baby right??? She'll come back, dont worry.

Wait!
You just said something like this happens to YOU!

Your father didn't die.
And YOU didn't die.

How come this is about you?

5 stars to spacedoubt.

Damm straight, stop your moaning.

If you want to move on, then do it, but be warnned if she comes back and finds out what a scumbag you've been - while she was saying goodbye to dad - don't be surprised if your life goes completely down the toilet along with your genitals.

2 cents - "Cha ching"

Yes, I must say it does sound mighty selfish of you to be thinking only of how this affects you at a time like this.

[edit on 6/2/2007 by djohnsto77]

hahaha yeah now that i reread that post it seems like he is more concerned about himself then the death of his girlfriends (whom he supposebly loves) father.

The girl has to be there for her family... and you are the one with the bad luck??

okay i can see what you mean its not all about me

im worried about her and im worried some guy is going to sweet talk her at the funeral.

thing is i hear it in her voice when we talk on the phone i hear a change of tone like she is a different person.

what should i do/say to cheer her up???

Be nice, be understanding.
Death, makes everyone examine their own mortality.
To rethink their own lives.
IF shes out of town, send her a card, and some flowers.
A sympathy card would be nice.
Back off the relationship stuff, until the funeral, and the aftermath is over.
Don't try too hard to cheer her up, she needs to grieve.
Grieve with her.

PS
I'm glad you realized that she's the one who needs some attention.

Pretty selfish, yeah.

You'd leave her because her dad died and she has to be away for a little while?

*snip*

help my understanding here.



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[edit on 4/10/2008 by Badge01]

awww sorry for her loss. it's something hard to deal with no matter who it is even if was"expected" or not still it's a shock when it happens you know?

anyway just be as supportive and understanding as possible. she will be going through so many different emotions. anger..denial.sadness and more. it will be a huge emotional rollercoaster for her and the fam. but u cannot make it seem about you when you speak it to her cuz honestly it isnt . she has to do what she has to do family comes first always. she needs you the most right now and this whole experience happend for a reason and it will probably bring you two closer than ever


this whole scenario doesn't mean the relationship should end. if it's meant to be you will stick with her through thick and thin..wouldnt u want her to do the same for you?
that would suck if just cuz family problems you ended it with her. maybe this could be a "test" of your relationship.. i say just be there for her and let her know u care and want to listen to any problems she may be having.

ya i had a long talk with her on the phone.

i poured my heart out for her... i think she understand i want to be with her still. she did say that she would rather be with me then be over there.

its so hard to deal with this. every time a fine someone i end up getting seperated from them one way or another.

aww thats cool you spoke to her and know whats up now.. don't worry everything will take its course.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder....

or something like that...

SuperSlovak,

I know how hard it is to be with someone and have them lose a family member. All you can do is assure her of how much you want her, and listen. She is changing with this, but it doesn't mean your out of the picture. She has to cope with life with out her dad. That's hard for any child to do. Just try to stick through it, love knows no bounds.

Don't leave her now, just be there, cry with her or at least tell her things will get better. Remember that yourself. Everything will be better, you'll see.