I absolutely feel the same way. No matter how you slice it, the world sucks. And you sliced it a rather good one if you ask me
My question to you is, do you assume that this being who will save you is your creator, the one who put you in this mess, or is it something else,
something greater perhaps?
Don't forget about yourself either, maybe you are a bigger part of the answer than you think.
I think you will be fine, you say you always forgive, and that says a good deal about your strength in my opinion. Just remember your world is your
world. It is what you make it. Every choice in your life is your own, even how you see things...